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16 comments:

AwkwardGuy said...

Great article with very constructive advise. I think I will try it out :)

Adam Khan said...

Excellent, AwkwardGuy. I'd love to hear how it works for you.

I just noticed you are the first one to comment. I have set up comment pages for several of my most popular articles, and I don't know why but it never occurred to me until just now that someone reading an article about being socially awkward may not be as willing to make public comments as someone reading other kinds of articles.

Theresa Troise Heidel said...

What does one do when invited to a social gathering and everyone is sitting in a tight circle at a single table. Just showing up makes everyone get quiet. Very awkward!

Adam Khan said...

That's a good question, Theresa. Whenever you're in a social situation that feels awkward, your purpose should be to make others feel less awkward. The purposefulness will help you dispell your own awkwardness, and when the tension is relieved in others, it will help you feel more relaxed.

So you come into a room, everyone is sitting around a table and it's quiet. But right before you got there, they were probably talking about something. So if you heard ANYTHING, ask about it. If you heard someone say something about Margaret putting a cake in the oven, and they stopped talking to acknowledge your arrival, ask, "What happened to the cake?"

If you heard nothing of the conversation, greet some or all of the people there with a hello and a smile or hug or whatever your circle does, and find a seat and let the conversation continue as it was before you arrived.

Evelyn said...

This is great; I will definitely try it out.
You're awesome!! <3 haha
By the way, do you know what to do to stop being so awkward around a person you like? I can never look into a cute guys eyes for some reason... lol

Adam Khan said...

Thanks, Evelyn. Here are a couple of ideas to help you feel less awkward around a cute guy, although you should consider the possibility that your inability to look a cute guy in the eyes might be intensely attractive to him.

But here are some ideas:

Self-Confidence

How to Create a Self-Fulfilling Prophesy

Anonymous said...

when I am talking to people i can get really socially awkward and my heart starts beating really fast and this makes the other people feel uncomfortable why do I get like this and I want to stop it so I can just be normal around people its ass if in my head some things telling me to be awkward when people are looking at me when they are talking.

Adam Khan said...

Anonymous, I suggest you read the two articles above, plus these:

http://www.youmeworks.com/usejolts.html

http://www.youmeworks.com/howlook.html

http://www.youmeworks.com/fearofpublicspeaking.html

You can reduce your awkward feelings quite a bit and feel more relaxed and at ease around people. Try those ideas out, and then come back and let us know what happened, okay?

Anonymous said...

Hello! Thank you for the great advices, i will try them out!
Greetings from Germany

Anonymous said...

Adam, your advice has been very helpful and I've directly applied these strategies into my life. Even though I feel more at ease with striking up conversations with people, I notice that I still have thoughts of the possible humiliation of getting rejected. I have been trying to work on this, reading various quotes and sharing this with people. I always get the same advice to just brush it off. But I let it interfere with my social routine after it occurs. Along with this, I have the fear of being labeled a loner because I usually go to a party with just one good friend. In certain cases, I go alone. A fear of mine is that they can detect my loneliness, something that could make me look like I am incapable of making friends. Could you give me some helping advice? It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Adam Khan said...

My advice is to use the Antivirus for Your Mind to deal with these thoughts you have.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Adam. You are a big help.

Anonymous said...

umm.... how do you bring up conversations every time you meet with someone???? i cant keep askin' them the same thing, especially girls. please help


and also, how can i be a "giel's man" as they say it, to always talk to girls.

Adam Khan said...

It takes some preparation. Think ahead of time about things to talk about. After awhile you won't need to do that, but at first prepare yourself so you get the hang of it.

I good book on the subject is Larry King's How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere. It's available as an audiobook too, and worth listening to about ten times.

Anonymous said...

well when i stop drinking i realized i had been using it as a crutch in a way,i`m 6`2 ,but good looking so i think most people look at me because of my looks,but leave it to the devil;a voice says it`s my height and i`m an out cast and there goes the feelings of being ill at ease help! any tips?

Adam Khan said...

Yes, you should use the antivirus for your mind on your thought, "I am an outcast."

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